Gone Forever
by Destany Mitchell
Summary: A oneshot songfic to Three Days Grace's song: gone forever. In jude's pov post date with the night.


**Summary:** A songfic to Three Days Grace's Song: Gone Forever. The fic itself starts up at the end of Date With The Night when Tommy leaves. It then goes on after as Jude reflects.

**A/N:** I'm not as proud of this one as I am with others, but I like it over all and I hope you guys like it. It's a bit rough around the edges, but I think it fits the song ok. Comments/Criticism is always appreciated.

PLEASE NOTE! There is no planned sequel.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters of Instant Star nor do I own the song (in italics)

**Gone Forever**

"I don't think I'll be coming back." He said, his voice indifferent, but his eyes looked carefully at me, like I mattered to him, like he didn't want to be doing this but had to. I knew something was wrong. I didn't need him to say anything. The way he seemed to fidget nervously and the way his face remained stoic and his eyes pained gave me all the reasons to worry.

_Don't know what's going on_

"Just sit. Talk to me." I said, trying hard not to plead, to just stay calm and let him talk. Just talk to me Tommy. Tell me what's going on. I thought. His eyes shifted outside, almost nervously and then back to me it took me everything I had not to turn and see what he was looking it. I wanted to, but I was afraid if I took my eyes away from him that he'd disappear.

"I have a plane to catch." He said, his voice sounding rehearsed and robotic. "Bye." He said, shrugging and walked towards the door. I sat stunned a moment before I bolted up from my chair and went to run after him.

_Don't know what went wrong_

"Miss?" The waiter called. I stopped and glanced at him in annoyance. "Should I print up your bill?" He asked.

"Um…" I hurried and crabbed my wallet. I pulled out some money and handed it to the waiter. "There. Thanks." I said and ran outside frantically. I glanced around quickly and noticed Tommy walking over to his car. "So, you're not coming back?" I asked, walking further down the sidewalk. He ignored me and walked to the driver's door.

_Feels like a hundred years I_

"Tom? Tommy!" I called, hoping to get his attention. My voice was pleading and frantic, and I could feel tears filling up my eyes. He got into his car and shut the door. "Tommy! TOMMY!" I yelled running over to the car and beating on the passenger window to get his attention. He didn't even glance at me as he stepped on the gas and pulled away from me, out into traffic and turning the corner out of sight. I tried to run after him a moment and stopped, tears falling down my face... "Tommy" I whispered once more, breaking down in the middle street.

_Still can't believe you're gone_

That night plays on constant repeat in my mind. The night he left me. The night my life went to hell in a hand-basket and I had him to blame.

_So I'll stay up all night with these bloodshot eyes_

I don't think I've slept once since he left. A few cat naps here and there to reenergize my dead body, but nothing more. I didn't dream. I wondered what went wrong; what happened. Why did he leave? What was more important than me…than us.

_While these walls surround me_

At home, I can forget about him. Pretend like Tom Quincy didn't exist. But the moment I left the safety of my bedroom and ventured into the jungle of G Major, it's a constant reminder. I'd look at the lounge sofa and remember the long talks we had there. The studio itself was a reminder of my passion for him…our fun and dedication to our work. I'd pass his office and I always felt compelled to glance in and see if he was sitting there, drinking his coffee.

_With the story of our life_

But that never happened. He was gone. He left me. And he wasn't coming back. That was my reality. That is what has become of my life. My muse, my mentor, my co-writer, partner, producer, best friend and love of my life has left me.

_I feel so much better_

With Tommy gone, it makes my work easier. I no longer have the constant need to impress him. I don't have the drama that is/was Tommy and Jude. I don't have to hide the fact that I love him. I don't have to lie to myself.

_Now that you're gone forever_

Instead of lying about my emotions, I tell myself he isn't important to me. I tell myself he doesn't matter. I tell myself that I can be better without him.

_I tell myself that_

I don't love him.

_I don't miss you at all_

And I'm beginning to believe it; That I don't need him.

_I'm not lying_

I'm not just telling myself a bunch of lies to get through this…I mean them.

_Denying_

I am better without him. I don't need his help. Never did. He brought me only so far. Another producer can bring me further.

_That I feel so much better now_

I can almost function with my life now. I can get through my days without breaking down and sobbing. I'm almost free of Tom Quincy.

_That you're gone forever_

Gone and not coming back. That's what he had told me. That's my reality.

Kwest had called me into the studio to work on a new song. I honestly hadn't written anything in months, but I guess he thought we could accomplish something to make Darius happy enough that we could keep our jobs.

_Now things are coming clear_

I found that Kwest is a pretty good guy to work with. He's more laid back and listens to what his artist wants but at the same time, doesn't go command 'we need to do it this way'. I liked that laid back-ness he had. It made work less stressful.

_And I don't need you here_

We managed to get a song wrote and some back tracks done. I actually helped Kwest with some mixing. It was fun and I knew part of his tolerance came from the fact that Kwest was in love with my sister, but it was nice all the same. Different.

_And in this world around me_

_I'm glad you disappeared_

As I left the studio, Patsy offered a night on the town. I agreed to it. Patsy and I have been going out more and more since Tommy left. She's fun and knows how to have a good time.

_So I'll stay out all night_

An all nighter with Patsy. It was definitely better than sitting at home, staring at the walls.

_Get drunk and fuck and fight_

It was almost a guarantee that I'll have a wild night. And I was looking forward to the different lifestyle.

_Until the morning comes I'll_  
_Forget_ _about our life_

At the underground club, I drank the night away. I danced, and I partied. As Patsy and I stumbled back to her place, I couldn't help but feel calmer than I ever felt.

_I feel so much better_

It may have been the alcohol, it may have been Patsy, I don't know. But it made me forget completely about Tom Quincy.

_Now that you're gone forever_

I hate the fact my mind is plagued by him. I hate him for leaving me like this…for making me like this.

_I tell myself that I don't miss you at all_

And I don't. I don't miss him. I hate him. I don't want to ever see him again.

_I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now that you're gone forever_

Now that he's gone, I've had time to gain perspective on our, so-called relationship. I should have given up on him a long time ago.

_First time you screamed at me_

We always fought. The more we got to know each other, the more we fought. A relationship would never work out like that. We're both too stubborn to make sacrifices.

_I should have made you leave_

I should have just let him leave when he wanted to go after "I'm in Love with my Guitar" tanked. If I knew then what I know now, I would have let him leave me. I would have just let him walk out of my life and get a new producer.

_I should have known it could be so much better_

I didn't want him. I never did. And then…then I fell in love with the guy. I should have known better. I should have been better than that.

_I hope you're missing me_

I hope that wherever Tom Quincy is right now…that he's thinking about me. About what he threw away when he left.

_I hope I've made you see_

I hope he thinks he can come back and fix it. Because then he'll learn…

_That I'm gone forever_

…that he can't fix it.

_And now it's coming clear_

I can stand on my own. I can get this next album out without his help. Without anyone's help; it'll be my album.

_That I don't need you here_

And I don't need him. I could write songs before him. I don't need him now. I can still write; I can still play. I can still be me.

_And in this world around me_

I've decided after this record is out, my contract with G Major will be done and I can move on. I can take a break. Leave Toronto and get a new life. One without Tommy. A life without that kind of drama. Just go off and be me again.

_I'm glad you disappeared_

And I have him to thank for that; for the new perspective. If he hadn't left me, I wouldn't have realized how bad my life was. How much I need…have to get away from it. Take a break and spread my wings.

_I feel so much better_

I sat in the studio with Kwest, working on some song lyrics. He was putting the finishing touches on the mixing and I sat in the recording booth alone, with my guitar, pencil, and notepad.

_Now that you're gone forever_

I spilled my thoughts onto the paper, letting myself organize them and come up with catchy rhymes. Mask them a bit so the meaning isn't so clear and a song is born.

_I tell myself that I don't miss you at all_

And I don't miss him. Not really. My life was going great before Tom Quincy walked into it and it'll be great again.

_I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now_

I picked up my guitar to try to come up with a rhythm for the lyrics I wrote out. I changed them a bit and retried it. Perfection.

_That you're gone forever_

Tom Quincy was gone. And he wasn't coming back. He'd been gone for over three months. Life was going on. I was going on. And it couldn't get better.

I heard the door open to the studio and I finished what I was writing before glancing up to see who entered and I froze.

_And now you're gone forever_

I felt my pencil fall out of my hand and I gaped, open mouthed, at the person on the other side of the glass. A person I hadn't expected to see.

Tommy.

_And now you're gone forever_


End file.
